RIP Our Sweet Riley Roo

We tragically lost our beloved "Riley Roo" on October 18th.  I have been meaning to post about it, but have had a hard time being able to bring myself to do it - as if it will make it more final and real or something.  I am having a very hard time with his loss, and still wish it was all just a bad dream.

Riley had been having some breathing issues since August-ish.  He had started snorting a lot and breathing differently.  As time went on, he was having a harder and harder time.  At night, he snored really really loud and just didn't rest well.  We took him to the vet to have some tests done, assuming it was one of the 2 things most boxers get: cancer or heart issues.  We had xrays and blood work done, and they all came back normal.  That was good news that meant it wasn't his heart or lungs or an obvious mass.  But, there were a lot of answers still needed.  His left nostril was completely obstructed by tissue and/or swelling - you could actually see it with a flashlight.  We decided to take him to a specialist to have his nose scoped and further testing done.  The specialist took biopsies and cultures as well.  Everything came back normal, and we were all so stumped.  The vet assumed that he had a bacterial infection, and we started trying out different antibiotics to hopefully knock it out, along with prednisone.  His condition improved briefly, and then went right back to what it was.

At that point, we switched to some different meds in hopes that they would work.  We were very frustrated to find that they weren't working.  It was getting harder and harder for him to breath, and it was heartbreaking to see how exhausted he was from not being able to rest at night.  I was starting to feel very helpless/hopeless in being able to help our sweet pup.

Tuesday night before bed, Riley's nose had "polyp" looking things on the outside of his nostril - he never had those before.  We went to bed thinking it was possibly a tumor rapidly growing and that we would take him to the vet the next morning.  Mason woke up for a feeding around 5am and I heard rustling around in our bathroom (we had to have the pups start sleeping in our closet/bathroom because poor Riley's snoring was so loud and would wake up Mason).  I opened the bathroom door to what I describe as a CSI scene - there was blood EVERYWHERE.  I got Clay and he tended to Riley while I fed Mason.  Thank GOD he was in town!

We called my mom to come sit with the boys while we took Riley to the vet.  He spent the day there and the bleeding didn't occur a single bit while he was there.  The vet took more cultures of his nostrils, in hopes that something would "grow" this time and tell us what meds he needed to be on to help him.  We took him home and everything seemed to be as it was before.  We were patiently waiting for the culture results and cautiously optimistic that we would have answers at last.

Thursday night before bed, Clay came and told me that Riley was bleeding profusely from his nose again.  We kept him in the bathroom and tried to get the bleeding under control with ice packs.  I thought at one point the bleeding was under control, and tried to get a little sleep.  Clay came and woke me up around 1am and said that we had to rush to the vet and that Riley couldn't breathe and the bleeding wouldn't stop.  I walked in to see him and just "knew" that there was nothing we could do to make him better.

That ride to the emergency vet was the hardest trip of my life.  I sat in the floor with his head on my lap and just told him how much I loved him and what a good boy he was.  I will forever cherish those final moments with him.  Clay and I held and loved on Riley while he took his last breaths.  It was literally the hardest thing I have ever been through.  I am glad that the last things he heard were how much we love him and what a good boy he was.  It is heartbreaking that I couldn't do more for my best friend.

The past 3 weeks have been so hard without my best friend following me around the house everywhere I go.  He was literally ALWAYS with me at home.  I picked him out when he was only 5 days old, before his eyes were even open yet.  He would have been 10 years old this month, and I would give anything to be able to celebrate his birthday with him.  He was with me through the most life changing moments in my life: meeting Clay, our engagement, our wedding, being pregnant with both boys, and everything else I have gone through over the past 10 years.  He was SO good and patient with Easton - Easton LOVED him and asked about him right when he woke up every morning.  He will be missed forever, and there will always be a piece of my heart missing.